Wednesday, February 13, 2013

This is how I roll

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This is how I roll…literally.

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But this is how I roll, destroy, and annihilate.  This thing is called a chopper.  I think Moses was the original owner but it still works like new.  This is to mow where the mowers cannot get.  I get to mow over thick briars, overgrown weeds, small trees, and vines.  God help anything that gets in my way.  Snakes, field rats, bunnies, baby deer…just kidding I don’t run over snakes.  Ha Ha gotcha!! I am happy to say no creatures either creepy or furry were harmed in the chopping of this overgrowth.

My boss picked me to do this because he said he knew I would take my time, go slow, and be careful to watch out for stumps, big rocks, pine trees, big holes, fallen limbs, and logs.  NO PRESSURE!!! I asked if I can back this thing up if I need to and I get “yes, you can, but not much, so don’t get yourself in that situation”.  He might as well told me to not breath either while I chop.  I did get myself in that situation…lots of tall weeds…low visibility…WHOOP THERE IT IS…big dang rock directly in front of me.  So I proceed to back up not much, pull up, back up not much, pull up, back up not much, pull up… get the picture.  I looked like Mr. Bean in that golf cart when he got it stuck between those two things.  But I did get myself out of that situation without any help and without any destruction to the chopper.  High five!!!! Yay, me.

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This is what I am chopping.  These are the “before” shots.

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This is what it looks like when I am done.  These are the “after” shots.

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It really makes a big difference.  This will give us more pasture grounds and make it so much easier for the mowers to get in here and really mow it good.

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  • I learned something today.  Something about my friend the black snake.  First of all they are not all black snakes.  The whoooge black snakes with the light colored undersides are called Blue Indigo snakes.  They are so blue that they actually look black.  They are a beautiful color and actually quite regal looking.  While black snakes are all black , skinny, fast, and have little beady eyes.  So the thing I learned is that both of these snakes like to “hang out” on top of these weeds, briars, over growth of whatever it is that I am chopping.  I am not sure if they are sunning or getting a better view of the ground so they can see the field rats better.  Regardless of why…this means they are now about the same level as my feet on the tractor and just a few slithers away from being on the tractor with me.  The first I saw was indeed a black snake.  Creepy enough but he seemed annoyed at me and got down to the ground (WHERE A SNAKE IS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!) and went on his merry way.  The next was a whoooge Blue Indigo.  Did I tinkle a little in my pants…well that DEPENDS…ha ha  get it …depends. Anyway no, I don’t wear them …yet… but I may very soon if my boss keeps giving me these stressful jobs and if these bunnies, snakes, and field rats keep jumping out and startling me. 
My first thought was…what if this particular Blue Indigo has a bucket list…and what if one of the things on his bucket list is to ride on the big blue tractor with the crazy farmer lady.  Oh snap… all I know is if he would have slithered on my tractor I hoped it was the last thing on his bucket list because he was fixing to not only kick the bucket but be beat to death with it and then buried in it!  I would have had to work him over with my size 9 tennis shoes because I was not wearing my boots…they are still new and a little slick on the bottom so I wear my old tennis shoes.   He would have either 1. got concussed and fell off  2.  got bad case of smashed head, died and fell off  or 3.  got the snake poop scared out of him and fell off…either way it would have ended with him getting OFF THE TRACTOR. I am happy to say I did not have to resort to violence.  He did take his time but finally slithered off on his belly (where he was supposed to be the whole time!!!) I have enough to deal with without having to be looking for snakes …not in but ON the bushes.  I need a raise.

Speaking of a raise, my boss man did come out and check up on me.  He told me I was doing a good job.  He said this was something he had wanted to get done for a while.  I was quite proud to be able to do this for him…snakes, big rocks, stumps and all.  I think he is kind of sweet on me.  If the truth be told, I am kindly sweet on him too.  I love farmers…especially mine!!

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