I have read many posts on face book and on blogs that have helped me tremendously in my “daily walk” in this thing we call life. I am grateful that others can share their experiences and methods to deal with situations. I love to ramble and I love to write so this is the easiest way for me to express myself. If it can help someone through a situation or just give them a different perspective then that is all the better reason to share. I also believe in accountability to someone or something and seeing things in writing is my way to validate that fact. So here is my story.
I had a situation last night. No need to say what it was, that is not the point. To many, it would be trivial. To me, definitely not so trivial. But if I have learned anything in my almost 50 years on this earth it is that one persons tragedy is another persons trivial and while we all have demons … they come in many shapes, sizes, and levels of destruction. So the easiest way to get my point across is to tell you what I know for sure to be true after last night. (I have known these things to be true for most of my life but they kindly slapped me in the face last night) And let me say that, yes, there was a happy ending and no, my situation had nothing to do with the Gator game :(
1. when God is telling you something, SHUT UP, don’t just listen, HEAR HIM and BELIEVE HIM.
2. when He says Do not be afraid… then by all means… DO NOT BE AFRAID!!!
3. I am my own worst enemy sometimes… my amazingly brilliant, daughter is my biggest fan and supporter ALWAYS---ALWAYS---ALWAYS !!!!!
4. my sweet precious granddaughter is very capable of making a self-inflicted, stressful situation --- bearable :)
5. crying SUCKS until it becomes tears of joy.
6. at times, even smart people make stupid decisions
7. while I am very sure that there is no prayer to big for God, I am extremely grateful and very confident that there is no prayer to small for God, He answers all prayers and His timing is perfect.
8. there is a lesson to be learned in everything that makes us worry, makes us impatient, makes our stomach turn, or makes us angry at ourselves. it is up to us to realize, accept, and utilize the lesson.
I am not sure why this has affected me this way. But I can promise you I did learn from it. And earlier today as I enjoyed a day with my daughter, cleaned up my kitchen while dancing and singing to the top of my lungs, and even now as I sit and do something that brings me so much joy… I am constantly reminded of last night and how miserable I was. I am reminded of how angry I was at myself and I hate to have that ugly feeling inside my heart. I can promise I was in constant conversation with God. I just was not opening myself up to Him in the right way. Lesson learned, realized, accepted, and to be utilized. It is crazy how things can change in such a small amount of time.
I am not one to re-live such negative situations. But in remembering that particular or any other gut-wrenching feeling, I am also reminded of that moment of peace and pure joy that only comes from our Father in Heaven. And if not for those negative times how would we know how to celebrate and embrace the good in our lives. Yes, just like the song says I will praise YOU in this storm.
I don’t do resolutions. They are made to be broken. I try every year to say that I am not going to cuss as much. I never make it pass 10:00 in the morning on New Years Day. I admit it, I cuss. Mostly to myself, not so much around people unless I am very angry or for dramatic effect. I know that even though no one else hears it… Jesus does. I am sure He shakes His head and rolls His eyes. I am particular about my cuss words and DO NOT use His name in vain or the dreaded f-bomb. Even I have boundaries. I have adopted a new outlook for 2013. Three words… SIT, HUSH, BREATHE. This is a battle that I will win. I will have victory and I will give God all the glory. It was only day two and the devil was on my back… but not for long. I roundhouse kicked him in his ugly head… with some huge help from my God. Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10. I am going to prove that sometimes silence says more than the loudest of voices. And who knows, this old dog may even learn a new trick or two about being still and the life benefits that come with that.