Monday, June 16, 2014

No hands...its how I roll....

I did a new thing today…anyone who knows me understands that I am not good with change…that whole “old dog, no new tricks” thing is my motto…well it used to be anyway.  I was needed in the field…to roll…I have done this before…the easy version (in good old black, rich, soil) and the hard version (in the green grass).  After my last rolling of the green grass I hoped, wished, and prayed for a solution to the hardships of not being able to see where to go or where I had been...little did I know my prayers would be answered...I learned a long time ago to be careful what you pray for and when praying be specific....

I did not know which it would be when I talked to my Van on the phone and he was meeting me in the field to “set me up”.  He knew better than to mention the fact that there would be technology involved on the phone…he chose to break it to me in person. I am not tech-savvy…or tech-happy...or tech-anything…what I am is anti-tech…I have learned to like my i-pod, i-pad, and i-phone…I use the term “like” very loosely…they all still make me cuss and want to throw them at least once a day.


Upon my arrival to the field I recognized the tractor, the roller, and the @#$%&*? green grass.  I knew this was not going to be fun.  When rolling in the green grass, it is VERY difficult to see where to go next as well as where you have already been.  Upon arrival I also noticed Van’s slight grin…as he said “I know you don’t like this technology stuff but I set it up for you just in case you want to try it”.  He gave me the “just hear me out” look just as I was giving him the “what the world????” look.

I learned long ago to trust my Van in all things, especially when it comes to anything to do with work.  Van is one of the most patient people I know and that comes in very handy when teaching Kellee anything about work…and I prefer that Van is the one to show me…no offense to my sweet honey but we have to live together…

Van’s approach is always hands on so I got in the drivers seat and we were off.  The technology part of this was that there is a computer in the cab with me that will show me where I have already been and where to go next…as if that is not enough it also helps with straight rows (a long time problem with me…very strange considering my border-line OCD).  How does it help you ask?????  Well IT STEERS ITSELF!!!! Yes, a tractor that steers it self.  I have seen it all….well almost anyway.  I asked Van why he even needed me and he says “somebody’s got to turn the tractor at the end of the rows”. Yes, this hash tag immediately came into my head #icanbereplacedbyamonkey.  If this just don’t beat all I have ever seen.  After a few rounds and some intense but very patient instructions…I was on my own.


There I was driving with no hands.  This opened up a whole new world for me.  I can now eat and drink at the same time, I can practice my wicked dance moves, I can sing, with arm gestures and literally “raise the roof”, I can text………..just kidding…no texting and driving even if I am not the one steering…but the new possibilities are endless…well almost anyway.  I was so nervous about all this “new” that it took me a while to feel confident enough to turn on my i-pod.  And you know that life is just too short to tractor with no music…so in no time I was jamming to my favorite beats and looking at all those straight rows was really good for my psyche-y.


Not to make it sound too easy, there were still buttons to push, I had to slow the tractor down to turn, watch the roller and not turn too sharp, make the turn, get back on the right track, speed back up, and all this is done with buttons…what would my Grandaddy think of this..probably not much and I would probably agree but we must keep up with the times (I say this with a frown on my face and some sarcasm in my voice).


I will admit it felt like I was driving a transformer…how cool it would have been to turn into a giant robot and start killing aliens and blowing up buildings and….. oh my…completely lost my train of thought there…not an alien in sight…just some sweet mama cows and no buildings just some fence rows.  I imagined my transformer to be a good mixture of Octimus Prime and Bumblebee…just enough bad butt to get the job done but enough humor and flare to get it done with style and a bit of attitude…

Speaking of fence rows…as I was rolling down what I felt like was a very straight line I noticed the fence beside me…it kept getting closer and closer and I was wondering what this new smarty pants tractor computer was going to do about it…and then I realized that it was not going to “do” anything… it was going to smash into and take down the fence row…so I acted quickly and grabbed the wheel which automatically puts the tractor back in manual steering mode and for a few brief moments I was actually smarter than that computer…few and brief are the key words here…

That whole steering wheel thing took a while to get used to…as I bumped along my first instinct after a huge bump was to grab the steering wheel…but that is when the tractor computer just says “hey, go ahead and do it yourself and see if you can do it any better than me”…rude tractor computers “ain’t nobody got time for that!!”

So after a while when I finally felt like I had the hang of it… the weather got bad and I had to stop…but I only left one small strip and the ends of my rows were a little ugly but the center of the field was beautiful…


So I was not happy about the technology part but with patience (my Van) and persistence ( this Smith girl ain’t gonna let anything beat her) I prevailed, learned something new, and didn’t tear anything up (thank you Jesus).  This “old dog” can hunt Open-mouthed smile.

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